Twelve years ago if someone would have asked me, "where do you see yourself ten years from now" ... I would have answered, "probably on a farm with a lot of animals, trying to deliver a calf into the world." That's what I wanted to do, to be a vet and work with animals.
The vet thing didn't happen!! for obvious reasons. Our accident changed my life completely. From being mad and eccentric (like most parsis are) to being wild and free, I had it all. Free to do what I wanted and when I wanted. My parents were never unreasonable (that's what I feel now, didn't then) and always let me be myself!! Maybe that's why I had such a hard time after our crash... I couldn't be myself anymore... and I couldn't do what I wanted to do...when I wanted..
I could never have imagined myself just sitting in one place and working from home. I always chose to be outdoors rather than being cooped up at home. I just wanted to freak out at every opportunity I got.
Life has a weird way of changing course. You are happily napping in a car at 5 am on your way to Bombay from Pune and the next second you are jammed inside it, with your skull ripped apart and your arms and legs fractured. You can hear loud voices of the people that mean the most to you, shouting and moaning in pain. My dad was driving that day (as he usually would) and my mom was in the seat next to him.. An ST. bus had just rammed into us. The impact was so hard that my sisters' door flew open and she was thrown out if the car along with our doberman, Ebony. I don't want to get into the gruesome details and freak people out reading this but, the accident was bad.. So bad that both my parents passed away the very next day..
Life didn't stop there. I continued to live after that.. always thinking why I wasn't smashed to pieces like they were, why didn't my brain pour out when my skull cracked...Twelve years later, I still don't know what my purpose here is. What difference would it have been if I would have just passed; that same day my parents did.
I am and will always be passionate about animals and even if I can never help delivering a calf, my craziness about life will never die out..
"When the going gets tough, the tough gets going"
The vet thing didn't happen!! for obvious reasons. Our accident changed my life completely. From being mad and eccentric (like most parsis are) to being wild and free, I had it all. Free to do what I wanted and when I wanted. My parents were never unreasonable (that's what I feel now, didn't then) and always let me be myself!! Maybe that's why I had such a hard time after our crash... I couldn't be myself anymore... and I couldn't do what I wanted to do...when I wanted..
I could never have imagined myself just sitting in one place and working from home. I always chose to be outdoors rather than being cooped up at home. I just wanted to freak out at every opportunity I got.
Life has a weird way of changing course. You are happily napping in a car at 5 am on your way to Bombay from Pune and the next second you are jammed inside it, with your skull ripped apart and your arms and legs fractured. You can hear loud voices of the people that mean the most to you, shouting and moaning in pain. My dad was driving that day (as he usually would) and my mom was in the seat next to him.. An ST. bus had just rammed into us. The impact was so hard that my sisters' door flew open and she was thrown out if the car along with our doberman, Ebony. I don't want to get into the gruesome details and freak people out reading this but, the accident was bad.. So bad that both my parents passed away the very next day..
Life didn't stop there. I continued to live after that.. always thinking why I wasn't smashed to pieces like they were, why didn't my brain pour out when my skull cracked...Twelve years later, I still don't know what my purpose here is. What difference would it have been if I would have just passed; that same day my parents did.
I am and will always be passionate about animals and even if I can never help delivering a calf, my craziness about life will never die out..
"When the going gets tough, the tough gets going"
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11 comments:
hmm Sanam
Keep the passion going
I am one big FAN of yours
Life belongs to those like you who face all difficulties and tragedies and dont give up.
i think it's fair to say when the goings get tough, think of sanam, coz she always keeps going....
I am not sure how you got through all the pain, agony and the loneliness. And worse it is the mental pain which is worse then the physical...you are a great woman and I admire you for keeping your spirits high. A salute from an ordinary woman to an extraordinary woman (human)
Anonymous
I would really like to know who you are?
Pain is Inevitable . Suffering is optional :-)
I loved your blog..Your poetry is simple and straight from the heart. I wish you days of sunshine with wagging tails and doggy smiles
Cheers
u knw what ure brave and ure lucky, i really really know what u went thru. there were times when i was recovering when it would seem too hard too tough and there were days when it would seem life was going down hill. but well my angels kept pusing me and pulling me. there are two things i learned "do wht u have too, and do it now life might run out on u any moment" and "if ure not living on the edge u are taking up too much space"
hats of to maam ure a hero
hey there
do u mind if i cross post or link your blog here http://www.adoptstrays.blogspot.com
sushruta...
sure pls go ahead.. would be honoured :)
even i keep trying to find a meaning for life, and when i see the pups and dogs dancing, when i go to feed them, i know for sure, that this is what i m supposed to do. at times, when u are really down, think of ur pets, all of them, and u know why u are here!
Sanam :)...I Know it must have been very hard for u to go thru all that agony and pain. I can well empathise with u becoz some1 close to me has also been thru something similar n i know its never easy no matter what! N i personally also go by the saying u mentioned "When the going gets tough, the tough gets going"......but along with this i also believe that "No one can go back and make a brand new start. But anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending" .. n as i had said to u earlier hats off to u my friend! Keep up ur good work and ur spirit and finally a few words by Lance Armstrong, which has a lot of depth, "Your past forms you, whether you like it or not. Each encounter and experience has it's own effect, and you're shaped the way the wind shapes a mesquite tree on a plain"....God Bless U! Its been a pleasure meeting u :)!
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